Don't Bless Me

Us Wollenziens were born with allergies, nothing serious besides the fact that we sneeze. In my case, a lot. I never sneeze just once.
It's really beginning to frost my cookies when I'm sitting in class or church and I sneeze and people feel like it's okay to interrupt the teacher or speaker to "bless me". If it were just once, it would maybe be okay. But you know what they say, "Once the rice is pudding, it's too late to reclaim the rice."
So there I am, sneezing 5 times, and having to hear, "bless you" 5 different times. That means interrupting the teacher 5 times, and then having to sit through awkward moments when I know that people are waiting for me to say thank you. But I refuse. I don't need your blessings. I don't have the Bubonic plague, and I'm not dying.


I don't know who started the whole, "bless you" routine. But it really needs to stop.

I imagine it was someone like this guy:





Or these guys:




Or probably this lady:



I can almost see it on her lips.

So please, next time you hear someone sneeze, just leave them in peace.